TYFA is sponsoring an online survey to gather statistical information about our children and families. Your participation is confidential and anonymous. You may answer as many or as few questions you are comfortable with.The intention of the survey is to gather data from parents, grandparents or primary caregivers of gender variant and transgender children under the age of 18. This would include children who identify as transgender, both genders, a third gender or neither gender. We hope to include a broad section of children with gender expression that is perceived as ‘different’ from their assigned birth sex.

From this survey we hope to gather information regarding the prevalence of families dealing with gender expression difference, the age of onset, if any type of social or medical transition has been undertaken, etc.

One of the obstacles TYFA often faces in our educational workshops is the lack of statistics to support the work we are doing. The data gathered will enable us to publish more current and accurate information about our children and families as well as support our requests for more formal/comprehensive studies.

You can find the link to the survey in the menu on the right hand side of this page. Please forward the survey link to families with gender ‘different’ children, organizations, counselors, medical practitioners, social service personnel or anyone who may come in contact with these children/families. The broader the response the more useful the data gathered will be.

Thank you so much for sharing this important project with others. We hope to publish the results in early 2009.

This week’s issue of the Advocate leads with a cover story about Lawrence King and asks who is to blame for his death. Please read the article and join us in our effort to refocus this conversation on the important work we are all doing to change the climate for GLBT kids in their schools and communities.

If you would like to be a published signatory of the following letter send an email to info@imatyfa.org and include your name or your organization’s name along with your city and state as you would like it to appear on the letter. The letter will be updated on our website several times a day with the new signatures. On Monday morning, March 31st, we will send the completed letter to the Advocate with a request that they take the time to feature the good works of our organizations rather than writing articles which imply that perhaps our GLBT youth are safer in the closet.

Respectfully,

TransYouth Family Allies Board of Directors
Kim Pearson, Shannon Garcia, Amy G., “Just Evelyn”, Bruce Parker, Jamison Green, and Andrea James

To the Advocate:

We, the undersigned organizations, wish to respond to the article “Mixed Messages” by Neal Broverman in the April 8, 2008 issue of The Advocate. The front cover of the magazine asks: “Who’s to blame? We told Lawrence King he had the right to express his sexuality. Did we send him to his death?”

We feel the article discusses an important topic in an unnecessarily provocative way. The undercurrent of blame in the line of questioning posed to activists and administrators is unproductive and seems to be a cynical ploy to increase Advocate readership and revenue.

It’s unfair in the wake of this murder to ask those people working to make schools safer to second-guess their work. While incidents like this remind us of the climate that leads to violence against LGBT youth, that climate is where the blame lies.

Thoreau wrote, “There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil to one who is striking at the root.” Rather than pointing fingers and using inflammatory language, we wish to bring focus back to the root of this problem.

As groups united in the struggle to make schools safe for all youth regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity and expression, we say there is no “mixed message” here:

- The blame does not lie with Lawrence King.
- The blame does not lie with those working to make schools safer.
- Allowing intimidation and violence to force youth to suppress their sexual orientation, gender identity and/or expression will only prolong the struggle to end that violence.

Other youth will be taunted, harassed, intimidated, beaten, and even killed before this struggle ends. None of them will be to blame, either. Those who tell them it’s OK to be gay, and those who advocate for LGBT youth are not to blame. Rather than finding fault with them, we hope this incident will motivate everyone to work with us to change the climate in schools.

Our unified message: this climate of fear must stop, so all youth learn to respect diversity rather than fear and hate it. Those who wish to join us in this struggle can learn how to help by contacting any of the organizations below.

TransYouth Family Allies

National Center for Lesbian Rights

Transgender Law Center

PFLAG Transgender Network

Triangle Foundation

INTRAA (Indiana Transgender Rights Advocacy Alliance)

Fight OUT Loud

Dr. Kelley Winters, Keystone, CO

Seacoast Outright, Portsmouth, NH

Transgender American Veterans Association (TAVA)

Ann Lorraine Jones, Tucson, AZ

The Liberal Catholic Church International, Diocese of Arizona

FTM International San Francisco, CA

FTMI San Buenaventura Reed Erickson Chapter San
Buenaventura, CA

Rabbi Levi Alter

COLAGE, San Francisco, CA

Gay-Straight Alliance Network, San Francisco, CA

Rev. Dr. Julie Nemecek, MI

Reid Vanderburgh, LMFT
Portland, Oregon

The Naming Project, Minneapolis, MN

Mercedes Allen

Terry Rhines, Lakewood, WA

Deborah Jordan, Tacoma, WA

Donna Ellis, Chandler, AZ

Al Ellis, Chandler, AZ

Legal Services for Children, San Francisco, CA

Gunner Scott, Director, Massachusetts Transgender Political Coalition

GenderQueer Revolution

Rev. Alexander Yoo, MA

The Gender Identity Center of Colorado

Kate Bowman, Littleton, CO

The Woodhull Freedom Foundation

Ricci Joy Levy, Washington, D.C.

National Transgender Advocacy Coalition

TransFM Internet Broadcasting Network

Ethan St. Pierre

Laura Shinn, MSW, LCSW

Paula Keiser, Topeka, KS

QSquaredYouth, Inc.

Abigail Jensen, Prescott, AZ

Shawna Scott, Athens, GA

Tennessee Transgender Political Coalition

Arizona Transsexual Alliance

Outreach, Inc., Madison, WI

Madison Area Transgender Association, Madison, WI

Michelle M. Eldridge

Helen Boyd, Brooklyn, NY

Mo Lewis, Tacoma, WA

ABGender.com

TGNow.com

Gemini Gender Group, Milwaukee, WI

Emilie Jackson-Edney

Idaho Equality

Tri-States Transgender

Social Welfare Action Alliance, Ann Arbor Chapter

Chicago Area Endangered Residents

Transgender Advocates of Central Texas

Jean Chapin Smith, MA

Professor Lynn Conway, Ann Arbor, MI

Airen Lydick, Seattle, WA

Stephen Tropiano, Ph.D.

The Network/La Red, Boston, MA

Debra Soshoux, CA

PFLAG, Phoenix Arizona Chapter

PFLAG, Montgomery, AL Chapter

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History of the TransHealth Conference Family and Youth Programming:

In 2005, a group of parents from PFLAG Philadelphia got together and created a panel workshop to tell the community about their journey. The response was overwhelming. The following year, parents and family members from around the nation attended.

In 2006, the community met the next generation, the trans-youth, and for the first time, the youth got to meet other kids just like them.

In 2007, THC became the first conference in the nation to offer programming dedicated to teens and youth. Since then, Family Programming and Youth Programming have become separate committees and entire tracks of programming have been created to meet their needs.

This year the conference is rich with offerings of interest to TYFA parents, children, teens and allies. For the TYFA parents (some older kids and teens may enjoy these too) there are many exciting offerings. Communication, Schools, Acceptance, Transition, Hopes and Fears, and Media are just a few of the topics which will be offered for the Family Programming.

So what do you do with the little ones while you are off soaking up the wonderful workshops? The THC Youth Programming Committee has created a wonderful environment for you to safely leave your children while attending workshops. They are going to provide entertainment, arts and crafts and other interactive activities to keep those young minds engaged and encourage interaction. Some of the fun features for the young ones will include: Jack the Balloon Man and Puppet Uprising. The Child Activity Center will be open from 8:30 to 5:00 Friday and Saturday.

How do you keep those older kids (13+) and teens occupied? Take a look at the workshops being offered just for them:
Youth and Teen Activities and Workshop Descriptions

TYFA will also be holding our annual board meeting on Friday, May 30th so you will have the opportunity to meet all of our board members at the conference. These are the folks we expect to be in attendance on Friday so stop by our display table and say hi to the TYFA members who are coming in from all over the country:

Executive Director, Kim Pearson, AZ
President, Shannon Garcia, IN
Secretary/Treasurer, Amy G., MI
Curriculum Development Director,
Bruce Parker, II, LA
Director, Jamison Green, CA
Director, “Just Evelyn”, CO
Director, Andrea James, CA
Advisor, Moonhawk River Stone, NY
Advisor, Dr. Kelley Winters, CO
Family Ally, Lisa C. Gilinger, CA
Family Ally, Jenna Meyer, NJ
Family Ally, Zander Keig, CA
Youth Ally, Shawn-Dedric Pearson, AZ

We hope you will all be able to join us for what we feel is the most family centered, feature rich conference for our TYFA kids and families that has ever been offered anywhere in the country. The participation of professionals from such organizations as the Mazzoni Center, TransYouth Family Allies (TYFA), Moonhawk River Stone (MS-LMHC), Mountain Meadow, TransKids Purple Rainbow Foundation, YES Institute and others who are changing the world for gender variant and transgender children will mark the 2008 Philadelphia TransHealth Conference as a one of a kind history making event that you will not want to miss.

All the TYFA volunteers hope you are having a relaxing Spring Break and we look forward to seeing you in Philadelphia.

Namaste,

Kim Pearson
Executive Director
TransYouth Family Allies
kimp@imatyfa.org

TransYouth Family Allies (TYFA) unveils new name, look, mission, vision and materials

PHOENIX, AZ– TransYouth Family Allies (formerly TransYouth Family Advocates/TYFA) announced the first phase of its new communications project today with the unveiling of a new logo and publication of updated mission and vision statements. These will be incorporated into newly developed programs and materials.

TYFA Executive Director Kim Pearson said, “Our new programs and materials were developed in consultation with gender identity and curriculum development specialists to ensure that our content is accurate, professional and of the highest quality. As we learn and grow, our programs continue to evolve. This evolution has positioned TYFA as a force for change that none of us could have imagined even six short months ago.”

TYFA President Shannon Garcia added, “TYFA’s position is that the needs of gender variant and transgender children are best served by a team consisting of the parents, the children themselves, health care providers who are understanding, knowledgeable and supportive, and adult transgender mentors. We rely on our well-respected transgender board members and advisors Jamison Green, Andrea James, Moonhawk River Stone, Reid Vanderburgh, Dr. Julie Nemecek, and Dr. Kelley Winters, for their historical perspective, experience and guidance on matters of policy and practice related to transgender issues. Still, the true direction of TYFA will always be defined by the children and families we serve.”

TYFA has examined all aspects of their organization, including the name itself. Going forward the A in TYFA will stand for “Allies.” The term “ally” expands TYFA’s advocacy role to include all relationships formed among children, families, schools, service providers and communities that allow trans and gender variant children to be happy and successful.

The TYFA logo redesign was developed from a concept by transgender teenager Shawn-Dedric Pearson. Mr. Pearson envisioned three triangles symbolizing youth who identify as masculine (blue), as feminine (pink) and as gender-variant (amethyst). The three triangles overlap with each other to form a vivid amethyst triangle in the center. Amethyst is a traditional color used to symbolize transgender people, and it echoes TYFA’s Amethyst Ribbon Campaign to raise awareness about suicide prevention among gender-variant youth.

The smaller “Y” in the new TYFA logotype evokes the form of a youth and is set in TYFA amethyst, highlighting the young people who are the focus of TYFA’s mission. The stylized youth is holding hands between the trans “T” and the family “F,” forming a link between groups working hand-in-hand to help trans youth, the trans community and the families and allies who support trans children.

Board member Evelyn Lindenmuth added, “TYFA envisions communities free of suicide and violence in which all children are espected and celebrated. We encourage everyone to work together for the greater good. Our gender variant and transgender children are depending on us all to provide new understanding. Difference isn’t wrong, it just is.”

TransYouth Family Allies (TYFA) is a national nonprofit that empowers children and families by partnering with educators, service providers and communities to develop supportive environments in which gender may be expressed and respected.

Kim Pearson, Executive Director
kimp@imatyfa.org
1-888-462-8932 (888-IMA-TYFA)

TYFA Executive Director Kim Pearson will appear on the CNN Headline News today at 3PM EST to discuss a family that TYFA has been working with in Colorado. This family has an 8 year old affirmed female that has been enrolled in school as a female after previously attending the same school as a male.

A parent in their community contacted the local media to express his “concerns” about this child entering their school. There was a local story done on the family that was not very favorable. The case has now been picked up by the national news and will be discussed today on CNN.

Please tune in and offer your comments to CNN and your support for this wonderful family.

TYFA Executive Director, Kim Pearson, President, Shannon Garcia, Director “Just Evelyn”, and Board of Advisors Member Dr. Kelley Winters (Keynote Speaker) will hit the road to Denver to present at the Colorado Gold Rush Conference. The conference will take place February 21-23, 2008 at the Adam’s Mark Hotel in downtown Denver.

TYFA will present four dynamic family workshops on Saturday, February 23, 2008. The full day of workshops will be included in your registration fee of only $50.00 per adult and kids are free.    

Successful Partnering With Schools K-12
Does your child’s school accept and affirm their gender identity and expression as you do?  Do they have the education and tools they need to provide the optimal learning environment for your gender variant child?  TYFA can help you learn effective communication techniques for educating your child’s school on topics such as using proper names and pronouns, bathroom and physical education accommodations, and changing gender markers to reflect the child’s true identity.

Creating Positive Media Experiences
Have you, or do you anticipate being approached by the media to do an interview? Our families are increasingly sought out by media outlets wanting to present the life stories of gender variant and transgender children and their families.  Once your story is on national television you can’t take it back. Let us provide you with an informational packet and discussion to help you make informed decisions about your participation with the media

Find Healthcare Providers for your Gender Variant Child No Matter Where You Live
Not all of us live in major metropolitan areas with access to specialists well versed in treating gender variant and trans youth.  Do you live in rural America?  Do you need practical tips and techniques to find healthcare providers for your child?  This is the course for you.  In this hands-on, interactive session, we will empower you with tools to find, screen, network, and educate your child’s health care team.

Who, How, When?  Informing Others of Your Child’s Gender Variance
Do you ask yourself these questions?  Do you have difficulty determining if and when it is appropriate to disclose your child’s gender expression?  TYFA will help you formulate disclosure plans and introduce you to the A.C.E. Program (Attitude, Confidence, and Education) to increase the likelihood of a positive outcome.

In years past Colorado Gold Rush has been an adult focused conference with family programming being introduced for the first time last year. Let’s show them how many families of gender variant and transgender children there are out there! Come join us!

For more information and to register, please visit the Colorado Gold Rush and TYFA information page. Choose the option for Single Day of Workshops Only. Meals are available as part of the conference, but need to be purchased separately as indicated on the registration page. Families interested in attending other workshops offered on any day of the conference may do so for an additional fee. If you have questions or concerns regarding the registration process please contact Kate kath539@earthlink.net.

We hope to see you there!

TYFA_TALK is an online support group and referral source for parents, grandparents and guardians negotiating the journey of raising gender variant and transgender children ages 3-18. Members will be able to ask questions, gather information and seek support and referrals from TYFA Board Members and other parents, grandparents and guardians who are also raising gender variant and transgender children.

Prospective members will be asked to provide a brief bio including their first name and the first name and age of their child, along with a phone number at which they can be reached. Prospective members may be interviewed via telephone at the moderator’s discretion. All information will be held confidential, as TYFA_TALK is a members only group.

You may request membership by emailing shannong@imatyfa.org or by visiting TYFA_TALK-subscribe@yahoo.com.

We are excited about the opportunity to bring families together and provide a forum for support and information gathering. We look forward to hearing from you all!

We hope the New Year finds you well and in good spirits.  Here at TYFA, we are busy working with schools, social service agencies and health care providers to ensure that families with gender variant and transgender children are welcome and supported in their communities.  Our goal for every encounter is to educate and empower others so that they may understand how these children benefit from supportive and inclusive environments.

We want to share with you something exciting that is happening.  TYFA is currently experiencing an amazing influx of families requesting our educational and advocacy services.  This indicates two wonderful things, 1) families with gender variant and transgender children are reaching out and standing up for their special kids; 2) TYFA is being recognized as the “go to” organization for the support and guidance that they seek.  We couldn’t be more thrilled!

We continue to be committed to providing services to families without regard to their ability to compensate us for our expenses.  We currently have 17 open case files and most of these are new clients since January 1, 2008.  These numbers have already surpassed the total number of families we provided services for last year!

As with any education and advocacy effort, there are costs involved with bringing TYFA’s programs to these families.  Some examples of program costs are:

Staff In-service for local school
or service provider                           $250-$500
Staff In-service for out-of-state
school or service provider                $800-1200

These 17 families are located in 13 states and only 2 of them are “local” to one of our advocates.  The bottom line is: if all of these families end up needing on-site services, our total projected expenses could be as much as $12,000-$18,000.

Will you help us continue to provide these important services to families without regard to their ability to pay by providing funding for all or a portion of one of these programs?  Your contribution will directly influence the quality of life for one of these deserving children.

On another note,  in October of 2007, we launched the Ian Benson Project and Amethyst Ribbon Campaign, an awareness project to battle suicide among transgender youth.

Ian Benson was a 16 year old affirmed male who took his own life in October of last year.  Ian’s mother, TYFA Secretary/Treasurer, hopes that we can help other children and families avoid the pain and struggles that lead to suicide among transgender youth.  You may read more about this project and order ribbons by clicking on the Amethyst Ribbon.

We are very proud to announce that we have secured sponsorship for the Ian Benson Project.  A private donor from the Goldman Sachs Philanthropy Fund made a donation of $20,000 for the development of programs and services specifically related to our suicide prevention outreach.  You can look forward to more information via email and our website about the development of this essential program.

We are overcome with gratitude for the generosity of our private donor.  We thank them from the bottom of our hearts…the loss of even one child is too many.

On behalf of all the courageous children and the families that love them, we ask you to be as generous as you can with a donation to TransYouth Family Advocates, Inc. (TYFA), so that we may continue our work and keep up with the growing demand for our services.

If each and every person on our mailing list would find it in their heart to donate just $20, we would raise over $18,000.  If each individual coming to our website for the remainder of January would also contribute $20 we could raise an additional $48, 000. Think of the impact your $20 donation could have on the life of one of these children. You can make your tax deductible donation via paypal or credit card by clicking on the “Make a donation’ button.

With the greatest of appreciation,

TransYouth Family Advocates, Inc. Board of Directors:

Kim Pearson, Executive Director
Shannon Garcia, President
Amy G., Secretary/Treasurer
Bruce Parker, II, MS, Director of Curriculum Development
“Just Evelyn” Director
Jamison Green, MFA, Director
Andrea James, MA, Director

TransYouth Family Advocates, Inc. Advisory Committee

Kelley Winters, Ph.D.
Moonhawk River Stone, MS, LMHC,
Reid Vanderburgh, MA, LMFT

P.S.- We don’t want you to give until it hurts; we just want you to give until it feels good.  Any amount is appreciated and will provide support for our education and advocacy efforts on behalf of gender variant children and their families.

TransYouth Family Advocates, Inc. is a 501(C)3 organization, therefore, all donations are tax deductible.  Our Tax ID number is 20-8050977.  Make checks payable to:

TYFA
P.O. Box 1471
Holland, MI.  49422-1471

Transgressive questions
likely to be a transgender conversation - ender.

By Andrea James

From The Advocate December 18, 2007

Let’s say you’re at work, a social setting, or political event, and a real live transgender person says “Hi!” You don’t want to say anything wrong since you recall the tedious questions and responses you’ve endured about your sexuality, but you want to appear interested and engaged. Thankfully, there’s etiquette for talking to trans people Here’s a look at questions to avoid. Trans people will thank you for it.

What’s the T doing in LGBT? You probably get the L and the G from extensive personal experience. You might even get the B (we’ll save that for another article). But that pesky T can be a real mystery. LGBT people (in fact, all people) have a gender identity and expression. That’s how many LGBT people are oppressed. Our society rewards partnering with the “opposite” gender and is organized around a procreative ideology: Male and female are the two types, and they make babies. Same-sex partnering violates the first rule of gender identity and expression, which is so deeply ingrained and enforced that a violation of it is sometimes described as “unnatural.”Here’s the real problem. We aren’t oppressed just because we’re queer but often because we look and act queer. That’s gender identity and expression. And it’s often imposed from inside our own community. Some LGBT personal ads demand only “straight-acting” applicants need apply. The community often rewards those who pass as members of the majority culture.

Can I ask you a personal question? This usually means “Don’t be offended, but I’m about to offend you,” which often leads to one of the following: Are you transgender? (Variants include “Are you a real girl?” or “Were you always a man?”) The first rule of Trans Club is, you do not talk about Trans Club. Let the trans person bring it up. Many trans people make great efforts to align their gender identity and expression. Many don’t like to talk about it. Getting “read” (slang for identified as trans) can be a demoralizing blow, and asking equals reading. The better someone can pass, the more likely it’s going to hurt if you ask. And please resist speculating with others or confirming their speculations if you know.

Do you have any “before” pictures? This question comes courtesy of media hacks who exploit the freak show angle. Some trans people are proud of their transitions and, like someone newly in shape, might show “before” and “after” photos. But for many trans people, old photos and details of their past remind them of difficult times they’d rather not revisit. Also, they’re often used as evidence that we’re “really” whatever we were assigned at birth. What is/was your “real” name/old name? See above. Never mention someone’s old name or other name. Never ask what it was. Using someone’s old name is often the insult of choice for those who dislike a trans person.Can I still use your old name? This is why many trans people don’t stay in touch with people they knew before transition. If you knew someone pre-transition, don’t use that person’s old name and pronoun. Before sharing stories about someone’s past, check with the trans person to make sure it’s OK. Remember, reminders of the past can be painful, so show respect for your longtime friend or acquaintance.When did you get it/them cut off? Did it hurt? Can I see/touch? First, transgender surgery is performed under anesthesia by skilled plastic surgeons so, no, it didn’t hurt. It’s more like reconfiguring than amputation. Second, you don’t ask nontrans people to describe their private anatomy, so don’t ask trans people. Finally, don’t assume we’re getting surgery of any kind; many can’t or won’t. And, no, you can’t see/touch until the third date.

Namaste,

Kim Pearson
Executive Director

TransYouth Family Advocates announces campaign for transgender suicide awareness

HOLLAND, MI– Today, TransYouth Family Advocates (TYFA) launches the Amethyst Ribbon Campaign, an awareness project to battle suicide among transgender youth.

The Amethyst Ribbon Campaign was established as part of the Ian Benson Project. Ian was a 16-year old affirmed male who took his own life in October 2007. Ian’s mother, TYFA’s secretary/treasurer, hopes to help other children and families avoid the pain and struggles that can lead to suicide among trans youth.

“Transgender” (or the abbreviation “trans”) describes people whose gender identity or expression differs from expectations for their physical sex characteristics or sex assigned at birth. Recent estimates conclude approximately 1 in 500 people seek surgical reassignment during their lives, with many more expressing their gender in other ways. Studies suggest that among gay, lesbian, bisexual, and trans youth, 50% end up ideating or attempting suicide before adulthood.

TYFA President Shannon Garcia described the symbolism of the Amethyst Ribbon Campaign. “The brilliant violet color of amethyst is also a blend of the pink and blue traditionally used to designate the male/female binary. Amethyst is a precious gem, chosen to represent how precious trans children are to their families and friends.”

TYFA Executive Director Kim Pearson said, “Ian was our friend, he was the friend of our children, he was part of our hearts and the hearts of his family. To keep Ian’s memory alive, we will help other families and children by telling the stories of our children and families, to reach out to the other Ian’s of the world. We can help them and their families find the answers. In honor of Ian and all transgender people, we ask that you share this message and vision.”

TransYouth Family Advocates is a coalition of parents, friends and caring adults dedicated to educating and raising public awareness about the medical and cultural challenges faced by children with gender variant and gender questioning identities and the families who love them.

To learn more about the Amethyst Ribbon Campaign, please visit the TYFA website at www.imatyfa.org or call 1-888-IMA-TYFA. The site includes information and resources for trans youth and their families.

###

Contact:

Kim Pearson, Executive Director
http://www.imatyfa.org
kimp@imatyfa.org
1-888-462-8932 (888-IMA-TYFA)

Many of you know that on Monday the TYFA family suffered a tragic loss. The 16 year old son of one of our board members took his own life. Please pass the following information along to all of your lists, friends, and co-workers.

To all that are grieving. Feeling alone and helpless.

On Friday Night, 7:00 EST, a Candle-Light Vigil is being held on the soccer field of the Black River School, 491 Columbus Avenue, Holland, MI to celebrate the life of Ian Benson. Where ever you are at this time, gather your family and friends, light a candle, and say a few words. In this way our angel Ian will see our light, feel our warmth, and know that we stand united as a community firm in the belief that we can change the world.

Let our lights shine. Let our hearts feel warmth. Let us light up the world with knowledge and compassion in Ian’s honor.

Wear a pin in honor of Ian.

NAMASTE,

–
Kim Pearson
Executive Director
TransYouth Family Advocates, Inc.
1-888-IMA-TYFA
www.imatyfa.org
kimp@imatyfa.org

“I’m an idealist without illusions”
–John F. Kennedy